Let me start at the beginning, when I first started attending strip clubs and what I imagined my strip club experience would be like. I Promise to make it short and not bore you with the details.
Before I was old enough to attend the strip club, I imagined and dreamed about what going to a strip club would be like. Fueled by what I had seen in movies, music videos, and heard from other people, the moment I turned 18 I headed to the closest strip club possible ready to have the time of my life and party the night away with naked women, as I had imagined for so long. To my surprise my first strip club experience was nothing like I imagined. My inexperience, fear/nervousness and desperation got the best of me. FYI,
(STRIPPERS CAN SMELL FEAR, INEXPERIENCE, LOW SELF ESTEEM AND DESPERATION FROM A MILE AWAY) But we’ll get into that a little later.
I sat at a table with my money in hand, looking all around and trying not to seem too nervous or anxious, but that was no use. After sitting at the table for no longer than 15-20 min that felt like an eternity, I built up the courage and made my way to the stage where there was a dancer currently beginning her set and took a seat “FINALLY SHOW TIME!!” I sat at the stage anxious, waiting for her to come my way, feeling as excited as a kid at Christmas. It was finally my turn! She came up to me bent over shook her ass and boobs in front of me as I threw several dollars in amazement. The dancer clearly seeing my inexperience stayed at my corner of the stage encouraging me to keep throwing dollars at her (Go figure). It felt great! I felt like the man!! The dancer finished her set and got off stage.
Let’s fast forward a little, the night progressed and I got approached by several strippers who had seen my amateur display at the stage and proceeded to tell me how cute I was and how much they would like for me to get a dance from them.
(TIP: THEY’RE ALWAYS WATCHING AND BY THEY I MEAN THE STRIPPERS) Again, my inexperience made got the best of me because I believed every single word they told me and proceeded to get several dances that night at $30.00 per song, each song lasting between 2-3 minutes.
(TIP: DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING THEY TELL YOU, YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN BY THEM) The stripper that performed my first dance (God bless her heart) failed to tell mention the rates and rules of a lap dance and 3 songs later I owed $90.00?! You live and you learn my friends, I just hope that my experience will save you from making the same mistake. But we’ll get into lap dances a little later.
Ok, So now its 4:00 AM, I’ve sat at the stage and tipped like crazy, got several dances, more than I would’ve liked from a certain stripper and it’s time to go home. I jump in my car, my testosterone is pumping and my wallet is empty???... Sure I had fun, but is this feeling of being a sucker, normal? It saddens me to say that this occurred a dozen more times after my first strip club experience. I asked several people I knew what they’re opinion of the strip club was and how it worked and the answers I got were “At the strip club everyone’s just another number and nothing more, that you can only attract a stripper with money and that the strip club is meant to take your money and send you home broke” Me being an optimist, I refused to believe that and set out to prove that those theories were not entirely true. I am not denying that the strip club is there to profit off of its customer, “This is the United States and all businesses must make a profit to keep their doors open.” What I refuse to accept is that you will never be more than just another number to the club or the dancers, that you can only attract a stripper with money and that the strip club is meant to take all your money and send you home broke and horny”.
Since my first strip club experience 10 years have passed. I’ve visited numerous strip clubs, met numerous strippers , lived some of the wildest times of my life (wink, wink) and with all this still managed to leave home not even close to broke and sometimes even some breakfast and desert a stripper after the club(wink, wink). Big improvement from my first time experiences, huh? My methods have not only worked for me but for many of my friends and I am sure they will be effective for you as well.
WARNING: StripclubEtiquette101 IS NOT REPONSIBLE FOR YOU HOOKING UP WITH A STRIPPER OR STRIPPERSSS AND HAVING SOME OF THE WILDEST TIMES YOU ONLY SEE IN MOVIES AND HEAR ABOUT IN STORIES , FOR YOU BECOMING A VIP AT YOUR STRIP CLUB OF CHOICE, AND FOR LEAVING THE STRIP CLUB WITH TOO MUCH MONEY.
This week I wanted to share a review for the Playmates Club, formally known as 'The Alley Cat'. The locals like to throw both names around. I have to say that it is my favorite strip club experience in Miami from beginning to end. Rarely do you find a strip club that is classy and fun and I’m proud to say that Playmates offers the best of both. I have visited a lot of strip clubs and this has been my favorite by far. Here it doesn’t matter what time you arrive, you’re going to have fun.
Along with gorgeous women and great service, Playmates also offers a vast variety of wine, beers and spirits, and some of the best happy hour specials in the biz. They also offer bottle specials all week long. It’s a great place to watch the next Heat game or UFC event on one of their many, large HD Plasma TV’s. The owner of playmates “Perry” has spent over $1,000,000.00 in renovations giving the club a modern and relaxing look and feel. With that said, this is the perfect venue to book your next upcoming bachelor party, birthday celebration, or PVT party. 
