In my lifetime of visiting strip clubs I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing some of Miami’s finest making it clap and working the pole and I’ve also had the pleasure of witnessing some of the most bizarre and just downright weird shit that any one could ever imagine. This segment is dedicated to the weird and bizarre shit that I’ve seen at strip clubs, enjoy.
Disclaimer: All names have been changed to protect the identity of the clubs and or individuals.
-About 7 years ago I saw a girl squirt for the first time on stage while dancing. Unfortunately nobody wanted to be squirted on and needless to say everyone was pretty pissed off and grossed out.
-A few years ago I received a phone call from a good friend of mine to come hang out with her at a new club that she had just started working at. While I was there, a dancer was called on stage and my friend insisted that we go and sit at the stage. While sitting there, my friend calls the dancer over but before calling over tells me to pay very close attention to the girls snatch and gives me a smirk. When the girl on stage comes up to me, I did what my friend told me; I looked at the girl from a DISTANCE and right off the top I knew that something wasn’t right. When the dancer walked off stage my friend burst out laughing and asked me if I knew what was wrong, I responded “Yea, that girl used to be a MAN.”
-Earlier this year I was at a strip club for happy hour and a dancer that I knew sees me and comes over and sits with me at the table. We start talking about just regular stuff like: how she’s been, how everything was, how was work, blah, blah, blah and out of nowhere she tells me that she has to tell me something but doesn’t know how to tell me because she doesn’t want me to think less of her. I tell her it’s cool and that she can tell me anything, that I would never judge her but in my head I was like “I wonder what the fuck it is” she finally gets the courage and tells me that there’s customers that pay her major money for her to kick them in the nuts and step on their nuts and that they call it “Ball Busting”. She then turns to me and asks me what I thought…I paused for a second and said “Shit, I wish I was getting paid to kick random guys in the nuts”
-A few mango seasons ago I was at a strip club, sitting at the bar when I saw a stripper go on stage that I just couldn’t resist going up to and tipping. I sat at the stage and she made her way over to me, she sat in front of me, smiled, spread her legs and took her bottom off. Awesome right? Well, it would’ve been if the string from her tampon wouldn’t have been hanging out of her crotch, smh…
-Last but not least, maybe about 9 years ago I decided to get a lap dance in a not so great strip club. When I was done with my lap dance and I was walking out of the lap dance area with the dancer another customer was also walking out from getting a lap dance too but with a used condom in his hand. He looked over to the dancer and asked her if she wanted to keep the used condom, the dancer of course shook her head “no” and walked away as quick as possible. He then proceeded to grab the condom and drink his own cum. Needless to say, I got the fuck out of there ASAP and never looked back.
I’ve got crazy stories like these for days but I chose the 5 that most made an impression on me, hope you guys enjoyed them. My only regret is not having a camera on hand to capture all this good shit on film. As always keep the love coming, be safe and remember to strap up “A stork might bring you a baby, but a swallow never will”
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