Different Class Levels of Strip Clubs

In my 11 years of attending strip clubs I’ve seen the good the bad and the ugly of strip clubs. I’ve  been to some of the most high end,  fancy shmancy strip clubs all the way down to the bottom of the barrel strip clubs. Believe me when I tell you “I HAVE SEEN IT ALL”. There are thousands of strip clubs out there but they all fall in to one of the three following categories:  Low end, Mid-grade or High Class. Below is a brief explanation of how to identify which grade the strip club you are planning to attend falls into or what grade the strip club you are currently attending falls into.  I must warn you, the results may shock you!!

  

LOW END STRIP CLUBS

Let’s start at the bottom. There are times where you might mistake a GOOD midgrade strip clubs from a high end strip club but you’ll never mistake a low end strip club for anything else than a low end strip club. Let’s start from the inside out, the first thing too look out for is the location. Most low end strip clubs aren’t in the best part of town, but from time to time even I’ve been surprised with strip clubs that I like to describe as “DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH”  which is either a midgrade or high end strip club located in what’s known as the not best side of town.  This is not common so don’t expect to find that quite often. Moving on to the next thing to keep in mind when trying to identify if a strip club is low end, is the actual building. If the building looks old and rundown, the paint is discolored, most of the neon signs outside don’t work, the parking lot has a strong smell of urine and vomit and they don’t offer valet service. My friends, without even walking through the door I can tell you that, that is a LOW-END STRIP CLUB. “Not convinced yet? “ Ok, let’s walk inside. Low end strip clubs are usually really dark. “But aren’t all strip clubs dark?” You ask. Yes, but keep in mind that the darker the strip club the more they are trying to hide. But what would they have to hide” you ask. Well, believe it or not most strippers that work at low –end strip clubs are pretty low-end looking. They usually are either extremely skinny, too heavy or too old, they usually have a large volume of visible spider veins and cellulites, cesarean scars, bullet wounds, bad unfinished tattoos, midgets and I’ve even came across a stripper once who had had a sex change operation to become a woman. Yikes! Scary scary, stuff my friends.  To make matters worst   most strippers that work at a low-end strip club are the most likely to offer you sexual favors for a certain price. As I mentioned before “any kind of sex at a strip club with a stripper that provides sexual favors for money might not be the best thing for your health.” Aside from the dancers and the actual building conditions, look at the crowd. If the crowd consists of guys that look like they’re interested in hurting you or flashy pimps you’re in a low end strip club. As for an example of a low-end strip club in Miami, I rather keep my silence rather than getting my ass kicked for bad talking any of them, lol.

                                                                     

MID-GRADE STRIP CLUBS

Mid-grade strip clubs are by far my favorite. They’re clean, and have a large variety of strippers ( about 50 at a time to be exact) to choose from. Mid-grade strip clubs are usually the perfect size (not too BIG or too SMALL; JUST RIGHT!) and offer a more personalized experience between a customer and a dancer. Midgrade strip clubs are usually pretty laid back and offer a fun relaxed atmosphere filled with friendly strippers.  Midgrade strip clubs may vary in the sense that some might lean more towards the high end level of strip clubs and some might lean more to the lower end level of strip clubs. As I mentioned before a GOOD midgrade strip clubs may easily be mistaken for a high-end strip club. Never lower your standards , Always aim towards classier ones. Better that it be too classy rather than trashy. If you’re looking for a fun time with some friends a midgrade strip club is definitely the place. A good example of a GOOD mid-grade strip club in Miami would be Booby Trap in Doral or BT's Gentlemen's Club in Sunset.

HIGH END STRIP CLUB   

High-end strip clubs aka the strip club of all strip clubs are known as the giants of strip clubs. These strip clubs are usually well known and are the sizes of warehouses. The caliber of strippers at these strip clubs are usually top notch and look like models and Porn stars. If you are planning to attend one of these clubs make sure you have your money right, because nothing in a High-end strip club is cheap. $50.00 DOLLARS WILL NOT DO and in some cases even $100.00 will not due. While attending one of these clubs be on your best  behavior, as these clubs seem to be a lot stricter. An example of a GOOD High-end strip club would be PlaymatesClub in Coral Gables or Tootsies in Miami Gardens.