Strip Club Stories of the Bizarre Kind

In my lifetime of visiting strip clubs I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing some of Miami’s finest making it clap and working the pole and I’ve also had the pleasure of witnessing some of the most bizarre and just downright weird shit that any one could ever imagine. This segment is dedicated to the weird and bizarre shit that I’ve seen at strip clubs, enjoy.

Disclaimer: All names have been changed to protect the identity of the clubs and or individuals.

-About 7 years ago I saw a girl squirt for the first time on stage while dancing. Unfortunately nobody wanted to be squirted on and needless to say everyone was pretty pissed off and grossed out.

-A few years ago I received a phone call from a good friend of mine to come hang out with her at a new club that she had just started working at. While I was there, a dancer was called on stage and my friend insisted that we go and sit at the stage. While sitting there, my friend calls the dancer over but before calling over tells me to pay very close attention to the girls snatch and gives me a smirk. When the girl on stage comes up to me, I did what my friend told me; I looked at the girl from a DISTANCE and right off the top I knew that something wasn’t right. When the dancer walked off stage my friend burst out laughing and asked me if I knew what was wrong, I responded “Yea, that girl used to be a MAN.”

-Earlier this year I was at a strip club for happy hour and a dancer that I knew sees me and comes over and sits with me at the table. We start talking about just regular stuff like: how she’s been, how everything was, how was work, blah, blah, blah and out of nowhere she tells me that she has to tell me something but doesn’t know how to tell me because she doesn’t want me to think less of her. I tell her it’s cool and that she can tell me anything, that I would never judge her but in my head I was like “I wonder what the fuck it is” she finally gets the courage and tells me that there’s customers that pay her major money for her to kick them in the nuts and step on their nuts and that they call it “Ball Busting”. She then turns to me and asks me what I thought…I paused for a second and said “Shit, I wish I was getting paid to kick random guys in the nuts”

-A few mango seasons ago I was at a strip club, sitting at the bar when I saw a stripper go on stage that I just couldn’t resist going up to and tipping. I sat at the stage and she made her way over to me, she sat in front of me, smiled, spread her legs and took her bottom off. Awesome right?  Well, it would’ve been if the string from her tampon wouldn’t have been hanging out of her crotch, smh…

-Last but not least, maybe about 9 years ago I decided to get a lap dance in a not so great strip club.  When I was done with my lap dance and I was walking out of the lap dance area with the dancer another customer was also walking out from getting a lap dance too but with a used condom in his hand. He looked over to the dancer and asked her if she wanted to keep the used condom, the dancer of course shook her head “no” and  walked away as quick as possible. He then proceeded to grab the condom and drink his own cum. Needless to say, I got the fuck out of there ASAP and never looked back.

I’ve got crazy stories like these for days but I chose the 5 that most made an impression on me, hope you guys enjoyed them. My only regret is not having a camera on hand to capture all this good shit on film. As always keep the love coming, be safe and remember to strap up “A stork might bring you a baby, but a swallow never will”

Molly: The NEW Miami Party Drug

DISCLAIMER: Let me start off by saying that the purpose of this article is strictly for educational purposes and in no shape or form to be taken as an encouragement to do drugs OR that we here at stripclubetiquette101.com condone the use of drugs. I just thought I’d put that out there before someone leaves me a stupid comment and I have to go send someone to go f*ck themselves :)

 

Cocaine, coke, perico, coca, Taylor Swift, white girl, Ya-yo or whatever else you call it has been known to be the trademark party drug for Miami since the 1970’s but lately, the big question on everybody’s mind from Miami to Ft. Lauderdale and everywhere in between has been “I’m looking for Molly? Do you know where I can find Molly” No matter where I go, whether it’s a party, a club, a bar or a strip club, Mollies seems to be the new power house party drug, taking Miami by storm.

Once again the purpose of this article is strictly to educate and inform people of what Mollies are DON’T GET IT TWISTED…

The name Molly is short for “molecule.” Mollies come in a beige/off white crystallized powder form and are packaged in clear capsules (pills) that you orally ingest. Mollies are basically the purest form of MDMA (3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine, commonly known as Ecstasy or Rolls). But on like Ecstasy it’s supposed to be uncut, without other drugs, or fillers such as baking soda. (I personally don’t buy that it’s uncut. Everything in the world nowadays has additives and is tampered with, so why would I get pure drugs from stranger I just met at a club??) Marinate on that…

Now that you know the basics, let’s get to the effects. I had a party at my house and popped mollies into everyone’s drinks and then documented the results…..JKJK. I would never do anything of that sort and you shouldn’t either. Got it?! I actually just asked several people that take mollies, both men and women to describe what they felt, how long the effects last, the dosage they take, etc. and this is what they had to say:

-“I usually feel the effects 20-30 minutes after taking a molly.”

-“The only way to describe how I feel when I’m on a molly is hyped up and happy, though there is the occasional times when you’ll pop a shitty molly that makes your heart raise and all the lights blur together. Popping a molly is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get”

-“Mollies get me suuuper horny, lol!” (FYI, Both men and women told me the exact same thing)

-“When on mollies I like to listen to “House Music” or as people in Miami like to call it “Tiki Tiki Music.”

-“After I pop one or two mollies, the high can last between 6-8 hrs.”

-“On like Ecstasy It doesn’t give me a downer the next day”

-“When on Mollies don’t drink or do any other drugs. Grab some water, some lollipops, a pair of shades, and head to your closest Tiki Tiki club and call me in the morning”

Sounds like a lot of fun right? Well, just like every other drug, here are some of the fun After Effects:

-Anxiety and paranoia

- Depression

-Irritability

-Fatigue

-Impaired attention, focus, and concentration, as well as drive and motivation (due to depleted serotonin levels)

-Residual feelings of empathy, emotional sensitivity, and a sense of closeness to others (afterglow)

-Dizziness, lightheadedness, or vertigo

-Loss of appetite

-Gastrointestinal disturbances, such as diarrhea or constipation

-Insomnia

-Aches and pains, usually from excessive physical activity (e.g., dancing)

-Exhaustion

-Jaw soreness

I hope you guys have enjoyed another edition of stripclubetiquette101.com and once again, the purpose of this article was strictly for educational purposes. I did not write this to motivate any one to try drugs or to preach to those that do, do drugs to stop doing drugs. Lord knows I’m the last person to try to tell anyone how to live their lives. We are all adults and we know what’s good for us and what’s bad for us, so no matter what your poison of choice is alcohol, cocaine, mollies, etc. remember to always use moderation. Too much of anything EXCEPT money is bad for you. Till next time, be safe and remember to not stress the bullshit “Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one”